A Step-by-Step Guide on How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows

A Step-by-Step Guide on How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows

Written vows underneath wedding rings
Let’s get writing!

Writing your own wedding vows can be one of the most intimate and memorable parts of your wedding day. It’s a chance to express your love and commitment in your own words. While the idea of writing vows can be intimidating, with a little guidance, it can be a rewarding and enjoyable process. Here’s a step-by-step guide on how to write your own wedding vows.

Start with a Blank Page

Begin with an open mind and a blank page. Don’t worry about making it perfect on the first try. Just let your thoughts flow. Think about your relationship, your partner, and the journey you’ve been on together.

Reflect on Your Relationship

Take some time to reflect on your relationship. Consider the significant moments you’ve shared, the challenges you’ve overcome, and the qualities you love most about your partner. These reflections will provide a foundation for your vows.

Consider Your Partner

Think about what your partner means to you. What are the qualities that drew you to them? What are the little things they do that make you smile? How have they changed your life for the better? These personal touches will make your vows unique and heartfelt.

Make It Personal

Your wedding vows should reflect your personality and the nature of your relationship. If you’re both lighthearted and playful, feel free to incorporate humor. If your relationship is more serious and deep, focus on the emotional aspects.

Set the Tone

Decide on the tone of your wedding vows. Will they be romantic, funny, serious, or a mix of all three? Setting the tone early on will help guide your writing and keep your vows cohesive.

Structure Your Vows

Having a structure can make the writing process easier. Here’s a simple outline to follow:

  1. Introduction: Start with a few lines about your partner and your relationship.
  2. Promises: List the promises you want to make to your partner.
  3. Conclusion: End with a heartfelt statement about your future together.

Ask Your JP for Guidance 

If you’re really feeling stuck, you can always reach out to your Justice of the Peace (JP) or officiant. JPs can be an invaluable resource when writing your vows. With their extensive experience in officiating weddings, they have a deep understanding of what makes vows resonate with both the couple and the guests. A JP can provide guidance on structure, tone, and content, helping you to articulate your feelings clearly and beautifully. They can also offer examples and suggestions based on your unique relationship, ensuring that your vows are personal and heartfelt. By working with a JP, you can feel more confident that your vows will capture the essence of your love and commitment, making your ceremony even more memorable.

Start Writing

Now, start putting your thoughts into words. Don’t worry about the length at this stage. Just write from the heart. Here’s an example to get you started:

Introduction: “From the moment we met, I knew there was something special about you. Your kindness, your sense of humor, and your unwavering support have made me a better person.”

Promises: “I promise to always be there for you, to support your dreams, and to be your biggest cheerleader. I promise to laugh with you in the good times and comfort you in the bad. I promise to love you unconditionally, for the rest of our lives.”

Conclusion: “I am so excited to spend the rest of my life with you, building a future full of love, laughter, and adventure.”

Edit and Revise

Once you’ve written a draft, take some time to review and revise it. Read it aloud to see how it sounds. Make sure it flows well and captures the essence of your relationship. Don’t be afraid to make changes until you’re happy with it.

Get Feedback

If you’re comfortable, ask a trusted friend or family member to read your vows and give feedback. They can offer a fresh perspective and help you refine your words.


Practice reading your vows aloud several times before the big day. This will help you feel more comfortable and confident when it’s time to say them in front of your partner and guests.

Keep It a Secret

While it might be tempting to share your vows with your partner before the ceremony, try to keep them a surprise. Hearing each other’s vows for the first time during the ceremony will make the moment even more special.

Trust Yourself

Trust that you know your partner and your relationship better than anyone else. Your vows don’t have to be perfect; they just have to be true to you.

Write with your heart!

Writing your own vows is a beautiful way to personalize your wedding ceremony. It’s an opportunity to express your love and commitment in your own words, creating a lasting memory for both you and your partner. By following these steps and trusting your instincts, you’ll be able to write your own wedding vows that are heartfelt, meaningful, and uniquely yours.

In the end, it’s not about how eloquent your words are, but how sincere they are. Your partner will cherish the effort and love you put in to write your wedding vows, making your wedding day even more special. So take a deep breath, open your heart, and start writing. You’ve got this!